Saturday, April 16, 2011

We Regret to Inform You...

...but your plants have died because of your stupidity and laziness.  Okay, I'm probably being a bit harsh on myself.  However, the past week was full of lessons for me and when I lose plants due to my own doing, it's a bit frustrating. 

It all started last Friday with that wonderful sunny day.  I talked about how some plants got absolutely scorched in my mini-poly tunnels.  That was lesson #1.  Don't leave mini-poly tunnels closed in the sun unless you are actually trying to slow cook them.  Even then, there are more efficient ways to do this (not to mention, more enjoyable.)  Still, this one was completely unforeseen and actually caused very little damage.

The next lesson came Sunday night/Monday morning when Jack Frost paid a visit to the house.  When I looked at the thermometer as I headed for bed, it said 35.1 degrees.  A thought crossed my mind that I should put some milk jugs with hot water in them in the poly tunnels as warmth insurance to keep them above freezing thru the night.  Alas, that thought died on the vine, not unlike a good number of tomato plants in the early morning.  I was kicking myself ferociously for that bit laziness.  Lesson #2 - if you think something would be a good idea, especially to keep plants alive, invest the 5-10 minutes to do so. 

Finally, my favorite lesson of the week.  As a fledgling grower, I'm often seeking bags of potting soil.  My default soil is Black Gold Natural and Organic, but I'm always looking for other brands that work too.  On Sunday, I was at a local garden store and was attempting to buy myself a couple bags of soil.  However, that gal at the counter immediately was talking me out of it.  "Everyone's using Bumper Crop these days.  I can't seem to sell a bag of Black Gold."  Really?  With a hard sell like that?  Astonishing! 

Anyway, the whole conversation, while cordial, seemed off to me.  The lady was quite intent on selling me a bag of Bumper Crop (and packages of peas that didn't fit on the seed rack), but is that any different from any other sales clerk?  Still, my instincts were telling me strange things were afoot at the 7-11. 

I bought the bag just the same even though I didn't have that 'sense of comfort' that we consumers so desire.  I thought it would be an opportunity to try out a new product.  It was, after all, highly recommended according to my new best friend, the sales clerk.

As I take it down to the basement cave where I start all my plants, one thing that strikes me is how pungent this bag of soil is.  Sweet, pungent, and quite ripe.  Somewhere in the back of my head, alarm bells are going off like sirens in the Battle of England.  I chose to hit 'snooze' and began to pot up some basil using this new soil. 

Right off the bat, I was skeptical.  There was so much wood product in it that I figured for sure it was going to be horrible for the plants.  I've found that the amount of wood product compost is in a potting soil is directly proportional to how toxic it is for plants.  This stuff certainly would be death to all things green.

I finished up for the night and began recording what I had done.  As I was doing so, the smell from the Bumper Crop was just suffocating.  I grew up on a pig farm in Idaho.  My office had turned into one of the pig buildings I hated to be inside of.  It !#$(!^% reeked!  Bad memories to be certain.

The next day, the smell was even worse.  Un-!#$!%-believably putrid.  I took a look at the basil starts that I had potted with the Bumper Crop and immediately knew what happened.


Now, that is a result!  That's Thai basil with Bumper Crop on the left and Black Gold on the right.  Perhaps some of you know what Bumper Crop is.  I now know that it is a soil amendment/conditioner and is supposed to be used in sparse amounts.  Not as a pure potting soil and never again inside the house.  My poor basil starts...I can just hear their roots melting away in that hot mix of manure.  And this could have been avoided if I would have taken the time to actually pay attention to those warning signs and read the damn label.

Now, I don't think the lovely sales lady had any malicious intent, but what the hell was she thinking?  I was asking for a bag of potting soil and she's selling me on a soil conditioner that will kill anything I pot up in it.  Lesson # 3 - if something seems off, it probably is and it's in my interest to either back away from the item (would you like a pack of our featured peas?) or investigate further (take my head out of the sand).  Even if it means taking the 2 minutes to read the damn label.  Have I said that already?

Ah, farming.  Ain't it the life?

Here's to some weekend sun!
cheers,
zach

3 comments:

  1. We all live and learn, at least you have gotten started. I am to scared to put anything in the ground with all this rain and cold. I am a whole month behind!

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  2. My goodness, that is a great name for a farm!

    It's been a pretty miserable spring, for certain. I've got a few stories on that coming up. The weather's gotta change, right? RIGHT!?

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  3. I will be coming out to your location to buy starts if that is okay. I am not afraid to admit when I am beat. I am doing okay raising the livestock but as for the plants. I don't know. My poor seeds are just sitting in this large box looking at me:)

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